What to do when you find out you’re having two.

Finding out out it's twins

We were in the car on our way to my scan, 5 mins away, when I realised I had forgotten my referral. Second child, no preparation, so my husband dropped me off and set off back home to get my referral with our 13 month old at the time so he could take a picture and send it to me.

I signed in at the front counter and went into a separate waiting room full of other pregnant women. I was so unphased by this appointment. Let’s just get in check all is Ok and get back to my usual busy life. My sonographer came in and asked if I was still waiting for my husband. I said I was and allowed the lady that was after me to take my place while I was waiting. She went in and about 30 seconds later my husband was back. I could hear him talking to the lady in reception and that there was an issue so I popped out to see the problem. “Sorry love, but we don’t allow children in for scans due to covid” Brilliant, now I am waiting for half an hour because I gave my appointment away and my husband can’t even come in anyway. Not off to a great start.

Luckily the lady in front wasn’t too long and was out in 20 mins, so off I went. I made the usual jokes as I went in. 8 weeks pregnant and just want to check everything is Ok for now and there’s only one in there… haha.

So I lie down and she puts the gel on my lower abdomen. And starts to scan… it’s pretty blurry and looks like there are 2 white patches. Having had a child already I am quite aware of what early scans should look like and did think it looked a bit strange. In complete denial, I thought maybe its just SO blurred that it’s created a double image of the single sack that I surely have?

“Humm, I’m just going to do an internal scan so we can get a better image”

So we have a pause in silence while I undress and get ready for an internal scan… it starts and it is CRYSTAL clear that there are two white patches with 2 “things” moving inside them… “OH FUCK”

“ummm that looks like there’s two”

“Well I just wanted to double check… but yes, you are in fact expecting twins- Congratulations”

OMG, Shit, Fuck, what the hell am I going to do, how the hell am I going to carry twins, what is my husband going to say, he’s going to have a breakdown, he only wanted 2 children, how am I going to tell him, why has this happened to me, Why am I having twins, I have always wanted twins, but how is this happening, fuck, how can I carry two, fuck fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuucccckkkkkk.

This is basically what was running around my head the entire time, I let out a few OMG’s to the sonographer and definitely swore a few times, but kept it together. Everything was great, two babies healthy and as they should be.

I walked out and burst into tears. I walked down to where my husband was parked with our daughter so overwhelmed, full of fear to tell him there’s two….

He could obviously see me in the mirrors and could see me crying, his face was full of worry as I got into the car, expecting that something was wrong, “It’s Ok, nothing is wrong, but we are having two” I cried some more and we kind of just sat there for a while as we processed it.

“It’s Ok, we will make it work, it’s exciting”. My husband was amazing. The total opposite of what I was expecting. There was clearly no room for two of us to have an enormous meltdown, so he took one for the team and kept it together.

So how do we deal with such wonderful surprising news?

  • Think about the positives and try not to focus on your fears. I was very concerned how my poor body was going to carry twins- but I did it! Sure, I still have a very sore body 2 years later as a result of carrying 2 babies but I did it. And I secretly really wanted 3 children so boom here we go- and it saves me having to be pregnant a third time- WIN!
  • Confide in someone that has gone through the same. I had a friend that was also pregnant with twins (I actually think I caught them from her) so after calling my mum and sisters in tears she was next on my list. She new EXACTLY how I was feeling, and that reassurance was everything.
  • Practice Gratitude. We fell pregnant a little quicker than expected and then there were 2 of them in there but I am forever grateful that happened and it didn’t take years to fall pregnant or we suffered miscarriages or required help- I feel so much for those that have to go through that journey.
  • Surround yourself with positive people. When people hear the word twins you get all sorts of reactions and unfortunately most are negative. “Oh you poor thing, how are you going to cope, twins- how awful, OMG I couldn’t think of anything worse” etc. My girlfriends who know me very well were amazing and very much on the “if anyone can do this you can” page and it made the world of a difference. I learnt to cancel out all the other noise and pay no attention to it.
  • Be Prepared. I am a planner anyway, but preparing for twins was essential. I kept expectations low- fed is best who cares how it happens, we will work to put them on the same routine and hope for the best. Everything worked out as it should, I didn’t beat myself up if something wasn’t perfectly how I wanted it and I did what we needed to survive with 2 newborns.

Twins is the most incredible gift anyone could be given, and I think most twin parents will agree. The thought for most is very overwhelming and that’s probably why they weren’t lucky enough to have them! You get what you can deal with in life I always think, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

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