6 ways to improve your self-image as a mother:

Being a mother is one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences in life, but it can also be challenging and exhausting. We are constantly on the go and try to fit what feels like a million things into one day sometimes. I have 3 young children and I work, look after the house, cook, clean, do pick ups and drop offs, oh and I decided to project manage and write 2 books last year. It has taken a while to find my groove and really restore my Self- image post babies- which is still a work in progress. I feel happy and fulfilled in my life. I feel like I have a good balance between working and being with my children and I am incorporating some of the final aspects to creating a life that I really want (more exercise and time for me).

Self Image isn’t just about Physical appearance, think about how confident you are in yourself? Do you feel positive, capable and determined in life? Cultivating a positive self image can make or break you as a woman, so what can we do to improve it?

1. Practice self-care: As a mother, it’s easy to put your own needs last, but taking care of yourself is essential for your physical and emotional well-being. Make time to do things that you love! Whether that’s reading a book, seeing friends, going to the Gym, make sure you carve some time out each week for YOU! Trying to be as healthy as you can also really helps to boost your self image, eating well, getting enough sleep, and doing some exercise is great for your mental health. It’s taken me 3 years post twins to really start putting this into practice- it can take time, I get it, but I cannot tell you how much better I feel only a couple of months into doing more exercise and taking some more time for me. Not only am I exercising when I walk by the ocean 1-2 days a week, just being close to the water and watching the world go by is one of my favourite things. I feel so rejuvenated every time I do it.

• Celebrate your successes: Being a mother seems to come with a lot of expectations and we rarely get praised for the amount we do. When you do something you’re proud of no matter how big or small, take a moment to acknowledge it and celebrate the wins. Maybe you managed cook a meal that all your children ate, or you handled a situation without screaming and loosing it- these are all wins, so give yourself credit for your accomplishments. If you manage to do something amazing for a few weeks in a row- book yourself in for a massage to celebrate. Treat yourself because you deserve it!

• Connect with other mums: Motherhood can be lonely at times. When times are tough, you can feel like you’re the only one going through it, and I can tell you right now that is absolutely not true. Reach out to other Mums, create a community, and have a good network around you. When I had my first daughter my mothers group was the best. Whenever there was a new milestone or she all of a sudden stopped sleeping, I would message the group and there were always others going through the exact same thing at the exact same time. It was so comforting to know that I wasn’t alone and that my baby was just going through a “normal” developmental stage and this wasn’t now my life. Having a good support network and getting out with other mums is so good for your self-image and building up your confidence. Surrounding yourself with others can really uplift your overall mood and give you a sense of belonging (which is the most desired human behaviour).

• Set boundaries: I love this one. If any of you read my work regularly, you will know I am a bit of an advocate for gender equality and using this to help your own self-image is essential. As a mother, it’s easy to feel like you have to do everything for everyone. However, setting boundaries can help you feel more in control and reduce feelings of overwhelm. Assign your partner tasks, ask them to give the children breakfast while you get ready or do the school drop off one day. It’s so important to have the confidence to use your voice and say what you need to best help you. Tell your employer what you need to create balance and what you need to thrive in your career and at home.  If you don’t ask you don’t get- a wonderful phrase my parents taught me. Make a life that works for you, say no if you don’t want to go out on Saturday night, work out what your priorities are and set limits on where you want to spend your time and with who. Setting boundaries at home is the number 1. Not only will this make your life a lot better, it’ll benefit your entire family.  

• Focus on your strengths: Every mother has strengths and talents that make her unique. Instead of comparing yourself to other mothers or focusing on your weaknesses, make an effort to focus on your strengths. What are you good at as a mother? What do your children appreciate about you? What else are you good at? Being a mother shouldn’t define us. Many of us have incredible careers, are great friends and a great partner, so be kind to yourself and be proud of who you are and what you do. Focusing on these positive aspects can help you feel like you have more purpose and really boost your confidence and self-image.

• Practice gratitude: Despite all the stress our children can cause us, they also bring us so much love and joy. Try to focus on that as much as you can, don’t sweat the small stuff and allow yourself to let things go once in a while. It is THAT bad that there’s food on the floor? Not really, remain calm and be grateful that they ate the other half of their breakfast. At the end of each day and every morning, reflect on what you are grateful for and keep that positive energy with you throughout the day. Take the time throughout the day to practice gratitude, maybe it’s a hug from your child, a beautiful sunset or that you have a supportive partner. Try to think of 10 things every day that you are grateful for.

Remember, being a mother is a journey, and it’s okay to have good days and bad days. Getting your mind focused on the positives aspects in life and practicing the areas I have just outlined, will increase your self-image and make you feel like a much more confident, fulfilled and happy mother.  

Please visit my website www.workhardparenthard.com.au to learn more about how I can help you to increase your self image and confidence.